Seniors may be reluctant to accept changes in life and abandon their familiar routines. They often put up resistance to personal care and assistance, as it often means they are no longer considered to be sufficiently independent to look after themselves. This is a fairly common situation families face.
If your senior loved one isn’t comfortable accepting care, whether from family or professional in-home care providers, what can you do to ease the transition and minimize conflict? There are ways to help your elderly loved one overcome their resistance to professional care.
What is resistance to care?
The term “resistant to care” describes situations where individuals actively avoid or hinder personal and medical assistance. This can manifest in various ways, from outright refusal to participate in necessary activities to subtly avoiding them or not complying. When your aging loved one refuses professional help with essential daily tasks such as bathing, dressing, or taking medications, it can jeopardize their well-being and overall health.
Situations like this are particularly concerning because they can lead to serious health issues. For instance, if they avoid eating properly, it can result in malnutrition, which may weaken their immune system and make them more susceptible to illnesses. Regular monitoring and assistance from professional caregivers could help you manage these risks.
Similarly, refusing to drink enough fluids can cause dehydration, which can lead to confusion, urinary tract infections, and other complications. Constipation is another common issue, especially if they’re not following a proper diet or taking prescribed medications.
This situation is challenging for many families. Watching a loved one decline while refusing the help they need can be very stressful. It often creates tension and conflict within the family, as caregivers struggle to balance respect for the senior’s autonomy with the necessity of ensuring their health and safety. It will often leave you wondering “why is my elderly parent so angry when I’m only trying to help”.
However, understanding the reasons behind them resisting care and approaching the situation with empathy and patience can make a significant difference. Once you address the underlying causes and work collaboratively with caregivers and healthcare professionals, you’ll be more likely to find a way to support your loved one and help them reap all the benefits of 24-hour care. The end goal is to effectively and gently guide them towards accepting the care they need.
How to deal with resistance to care with dementia?
Resistance to care and dementia are both difficult challenges faced by many seniors’ families. Helping your loved one through this situation requires a unique and empathetic approach. Patience and understanding are the key here. We should do our best to understand that their behavior may stem from fear, confusion, or a loss of control. Here’s what you can do:
1. Try to create a calm and reassuring environment
A soothing atmosphere can make a significant difference. Try to make their home quiet, comfortable, and free from distractions. Soft lighting, familiar objects, and a consistent routine can help minimize their agitation. When you talk to them, use a gentle tone and maintain eye contact to convey empathy and reassurance. Approach them calmly and avoid sudden movements or loud noises that might startle them.
2. Use simple language and avoid arguing
Effective communication is very important here. Use short, simple sentences and avoid complex explanations. Do your best to stay patient and give them time to process what you’re saying. Instead of arguing, try to acknowledge their feelings and validate their emotions.
For example, if they express fear about bathing, you might say, “I understand that you feel scared about taking a bath. Let’s see how we can make it more comfortable for you.” Having a reliable caregiver can also help, since they’re trained to communicate with seniors calmly and respectfully.
3. Focus on their feelings
Empathy goes a long way when helping someone who’s resistant to care. Pay attention to their emotional state and respond accordingly. If they seem anxious or upset, try to comfort them with a gentle touch or reassuring words. Let them know that their feelings are important and that you’re there to support them. Sometimes, just listening and being there as a comforting person can help them feel more secure. Trained caregivers will also be patient and sensitive to their feelings.
4. Use redirection and distraction techniques
Redirection can be a powerful tool. If your loved one starts avoiding a specific activity, gently shift their focus to something else they enjoy. For example, if they refuse to take a bath, you might engage them in a favorite activity like listening to music or watching their favorite show. Once they’re more relaxed, you can attempt the task again, but try to frame it gently when suggesting it.
5. Talk to a doctor
If the situation stays the same, consider seeking help from professionals specializing in dementia care. A specialist or a geriatric psychiatrist can provide valuable insights and a detailed plan tailored to your loved one’s needs. If they need medication, the doctor will quickly recognize it and prescribe it to them. They can also offer support and guidance to family members and help you navigate the challenges more effectively.
How do you deal with the elderly who are confrontational?
Three components are considered to be vital to successfully dealing with and helping confrontational elderly individuals with resistance to care, especially if dementia is also involved: patience, creativity, and flexibility. Professionals in the world of caregiving understand that each client is unique and that not every client is easy to work with from the start. Here’s a detailed guide to help you manage the situation effectively.
1. Communication is key
Effective communication is probably the most important part of dealing with your aging loved one when they’re confrontational. Try to help your loved one see the situation from your perspective. Explain that the point of home care isn’t to take away their independence but rather to help them maintain it while staying as safe and healthy as possible.
Be clear and concise and avoid technical jargon that might confuse or frustrate them. Ask open-ended questions to encourage dialogue, listen attentively, and show respect for their opinions. This demonstrates that you value their input and are not merely dictating what they should do. Acknowledge their fears and concerns and reassure them that their feelings are valid.
2. Let them get a say
Involving your elderly loved one in decision-making can make them less resistant to care. Don’t exclude them from decisions about their care. If at all possible, include them, even if only partially. For example, if they need to get professional help and it’s non-negotiable, at least let them choose the caregiver.
Allowing them to have a say can help them regain a sense of control and autonomy, which could make them much more receptive to what you’re offering. Discuss various options and learn all about their preferences, whether it’s the time of day they receive care, the type of assistance they need, or the specific professional who will be helping them.
3. Start slow, with patience and understanding
Introducing changes gradually can help your elderly relative adapt without feeling overwhelmed. Suggest making baby steps instead of forcing radical changes. This approach helps your elderly loved one adapt to the change at their own pace and get used to the idea of having a professional visit them regularly.
You could start minor adjustments, such as short visits from their chosen caregiver and gradually increase the duration and level of care as they become more comfortable. This method allows them to build trust and familiarity with their chosen professional which can significantly reduce their anxiety.
Why are seniors so stubborn?
Seniors and the elderly can be set in their ways. While it may be very difficult for you to deal with elderly parents who refuse help, this behavior of theirs is perfectly understandable. They have spent decades living life a certain way and they are having a hard time adjusting to even the slightest changes to their usual routine, let alone drastic changes which involve welcoming a stranger into one’s home, which is who a caregiver is to them, at least at first.
This inflexibility often stems from a desire to maintain control over their lives and a reluctance to abandon familiar routines and environments. If you’re asking yourself why your elderly parent is so angry and obstinate at times, here are some reasons that may not be as easy to identify:
1. Emotional and psychological challenges
Seniors often face many emotional and psychological challenges that can contribute to their stubbornness. For instance, grief over the loss of a partner, family member, friend, or pet can deeply affect their willingness to deal with changes. Similarly, depression and anxiety, common among the elderly, can make them more resistant to care, as they may feel overwhelmed or hopeless.
2. Anger and isolation
Anger issues and feelings of isolation and loneliness can also play significant roles. As their health declines, seniors may experience a lot of frustration and anger towards their situation. In some cases, this can lead them to push back against help. It’s also common for the elderly to feel left out of family activities or decisions, which can further increase their sense of isolation and fuel their stubbornness.
3. Fear of losing independence
Fear is another powerful factor. Many seniors fear dying or being relocated to a nursing home, which can manifest as being resistant to care. They may perceive accepting help as a step closer to losing their independence or being placed in a facility.
It’s very important to know enough about these underlying reasons when approaching the topic of care. Once you recognize why they act the way they do, it becomes easier to communicate with them effectively and do your best to empower them. Acknowledging their fears and emotions can help build trust and pave the way for more productive conversations about their needs. This can make the whole situation easier to handle and healthier for everyone involved.
How to motivate stubborn senior citizens in personal hygiene?
You may be unsure how to help your stubborn loved one who struggles with self-neglect, as many seniors do. Maintaining personal hygiene can become a challenge for some aging individuals due to various reasons, including physical limitations, cognitive decline, or depression. To encourage better hygiene habits, try the following:
1. Make it easier
Make the bathroom safe and accessible. If needed, make adjustments to their home and the bathroom. You could install grab bars, shower chairs, and raised toilet seats to reduce the risk of falls. It might also be helpful to use easy-to-handle hygiene products that your aging loved one won’t struggle with. Simplifying the process can make a significant difference in their willingness to participate in personal care.
2. Be patient and supportive
Avoid criticism or nagging, as it can often make them feel ashamed or defensive. Instead, try to offer gentle reminders and assistance. Approach the topic with sensitivity and respect, acknowledging their feelings and concerns. For instance, instead of saying, “You need to shower,” you could say, “Would you like some help getting ready for the day?”
3. Focus on the benefits
Remind them of the advantages of good hygiene, but make sure that your tone is not condescending. They’re probably aware of the benefits but don’t feel motivated to put a lot of effort into their grooming. Explain how paying attention to hygiene could help them feel more comfortable, healthy, and confident.
You could also mention that staying clean can prevent infections, skin issues, and other health problems. Positive reinforcement, such as praising them for their efforts, can also boost their motivation.
4. Make it enjoyable
Transform hygiene routines into pleasant experiences. For example, you could play their favorite music while they’re in the bath or use scented products they enjoy. You could put fresh sheets on their bed and make the bedroom feel pleasant, so they can enjoy the feeling of cleanliness once they get into bed. Creating a spa-like atmosphere can make these tasks feel less like chores and more like pampering sessions.
5. Seek professional help
If they continue to resist, despite your best efforts, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. The role of a care provider is to offer specialized assistance and techniques to encourage cooperation. They can also provide the family caregivers with an opportunity to practice self-care and prevent burnout.
You’re more likely to successfully deal with elderly parents who refuse help if you’re well-rested and stable, which can be challenging if you’re the one caring for them all the time. That’s why it can be a relief to leave the work to the professionals, recharge, and still stay supportive and loving, but in a different way.
How do I find dependable home care in Los Angeles?
Experience the benefits of relying on a trusted referral agency, A Better Way In Home Care. We’re here to connect you to experienced, reliable, and compassionate caregivers in your area. We are here to make your aging loved one’s life more fulfilling while helping you create more breathing room in yours. Together, we can work out a solution that truly aligns with your loved one’s best needs.
All the professionals in our database are background-checked, qualified, and trustworthy, so you can rest assured that your aging loved one will be in safe hands. Our network covers a wide area, so you can also count on us for reliable and safe in-home care in Beverly Hills and other areas of Los Angeles County. For more details, from the cost of care to other specifics, do not hesitate to contact us anytime.
