
But what do you do if they are unwilling to share any of the responsibilities? Having siblings who are unwilling to take at least some of the responsibilities of taking care of your aging parents can be an insurmountable problem, one that can only escalate over time.
What to do when siblings won’t help with elderly parents?
It can be frustrating to have aging parents in need of care and assistance and a sibling unwilling to help out. Most people would give up and assume all the responsibilities themselves, just to avoid having to deal with uncooperative siblings and the resulting conflicts. It is important to stay calm and cool headed so as to resolve the issue in the best interest of both you and your parents. Do not let the stress you are under cloud your judgement.
Here are some things to have in mind so you can overcome the situation the best you can and reduce the drama for the sake of everyone involved:
- Don’t have unrealistic expectations. It is virtually impossible to divide caregiving responsibilities equally. Your ideal scenario in which everyone does the same share of the work is probably unrealistic. What you should do is focus on what everyone can do and get as much as you can out of your siblings. Besides, each person has their own set of abilities and talents so try to delegate tasks and responsibilities accordingly.
- Communication is key. Your siblings cannot read your mind, especially if they live far away. Communicate and ask for help instead of going through the ordeal by yourself and expecting someone who has never acted as a caregiver to understand what it’s like. If that fails, consider hiring a caregiver instead of continuing to spread yourself too thin.
- Do your best not to aggravate the situation. Do your best to keep emotions, however overwhelming, out of the conversation. Trying to force your siblings into doing their share is only going to make bad things worse. If their mind is set, nothing you do will change their minds, and you’ll only end up more annoyed and frustrated. Sometimes, it’s just better to let go. After all, there are professionals whom you can hire and rely on for dependable, ongoing support and assistance.
- Whoever lives close by call the shots. If you live close to your parents while your sibling lives far away, you will inevitably be the person to take on the bulk of the work. Likewise, if you are the long-distance sibling, don’t be offended if your other sibling is being bossy and making decisions without consulting you. Try to reason with them, but be understanding. Bear in mind that they have a lot on their plate, from meal prepping to picking up prescriptions, to handling various emergency situations.
How can hiring a professional caregiver help ease tensions?

But sometimes your aging parents will refuse to eat all of a sudden. They might need you to help them with a bathroom emergency or take them to the emergency room in the dead of night. A caregiver can perform all these duties expertly, sparing you the stress and frustration of having to juggle caregiving and other aspects of your life and helping ease tensions resulting from any disagreement between you and your siblings.
In home care in Pacific Palisades: the best for those you love the most
