How to Avoid Family Conflicts over Aging Parents

Nothing can make us feel as miserable like coming into conflict with family members, be it our aging parents who need our help but refuse to listen, our kids who think we are nagging old bores or our siblings from whom we’ve drifted apart at some point. 

The worst part is that, even in the most functional families, a drastic change of circumstances can lead to conflict and conflicts tend to escalate no matter how hard we try to stop that from happening, especially if a conflict has arisen over something as serious as taking care of the elderly. 

Having to work full time and act as a caregiver of an aging parent is enough to push you over the edge, which is one reason for the high demand for senior home care in Pacific Palisades, especially if you feel like you’re alone and your siblings refuse to pitch in and help out. So how do you avoid family conflicts over aging parents and work out a solution in the best interest of everyone involved?

How do you talk to your siblings about your aging parents?

Taking care of an aging parent, especially one suffering from Alzheimer’s or dementia, or even discussing the potential scenarios and arrangements can take a toll on even the strongest sibling bond. Over night, you and your siblings and other family members involved could become so angry and frustrated with each other that it becomes next to impossible to talk to each other, let alone start seeing eye to eye. 

The fact that your elderly loved one may be refusing to cooperate only makes things that much worse. For the sake of everyone involved, you need to be willing to compromise and bury the hatchet, however difficult it may be. 

• Be straightforward about the proposed family meeting agenda: give your siblings time to prepare for the task at hand.
• Build a strong case by presenting evidence and documents on the actual condition of your parent and the financial and other risks the elderly living alone are exposed to.
• Be considerate enough to hear your siblings’ point of view: perhaps they’re currently not in the position to help out but may start doing so when circumstances allow.
• Forget about your old roles and focus on the present and the future: a sibling who used to be the responsible one may be less approachable than the black sheep of the family!
• Consult experts in the world of caregiving for recommendations on the optimal course of action.

What to do when siblings won’t help with elderly parents?

Your siblings may refuse to help out, at least in the way you’ve expected, especially if they live far away. It is up to you to do your best and set your differences aside because the wellbeing of your parent should be your top concern and top priority. 

It’s only normal that you’ll feel all the more frustrated, angry and disappointed if you have failed to reach an agreement with a sibling. But try to keep a cool head and get your sibling to contribute to your caregiving efforts in a different way, perhaps by helping out financially.

Treating the elderly with dignity since 1998

Having to cope with an aging parent in need of help is more than likely to lead to conflicts and arguments between siblings. And we all know that nothing good can come out of a family conflict: when emotions run high, things can easily get out of hand and only radical changes can help you patch things up and get back on track. 

But we’re here to help you work out a solution in the best interest of everyone involved. Professional senior home care in Pacific Palisades in LA Westside is what we do best. We have been in the business for over two decades. Our ultimate goal is and always has been to introduce seniors to best-in-class local caregivers who can provide them with the best care, the best lifestyle and the best quality of life. Call today to schedule your initial appointment.